My Testimony

Born in 1963..a California girl..sunshine dreams...all was going well.  I was brought up in a non christian home. My parents didn't see much purpose in going to church themselves, but sometimes would drop my brother and I off at church on Sunday mornings for Sunday school. Its possible that we even went with someone, but I don't recall. I just remember the song, where we sang, "do Lord, Oh do Lord, Oh do you remember me....". 8 years old, my father had to search for another job...moved to Michigan. I established some new friends. I was curious about who God was and what was my purpose for being here. I went to church with one of my best friends who was Catholic. This caused me to wonder even more what church and religion were all about. Still since my parents were not interested in God or church, it didn't cross my mind alot back then. My father had more job changes, moved to Indiana in 1978-my sunshine world would start to change even more...and it did.  My high school days in Indiana would prove to be some tough times. Since I was going through lots of bodily changes, I experienced lots of acne- and not to mention lack of identity, and getting used to living in another new setting. I would board the bus every morning my Freshman year, with kids on the bus calling me pizza face, and coming home after school crying and not wanting to go back the next day. Sophomore and Junior year I would receive threats from some girls at school that they wanted to beat me up. During this time the only positive thing in my life was that I was going to church with my friend on Sundays where God was showing me gradually that there was more to church than just "religion" . God was clearly in control, because looking back, I know He was carefully allowing certain things to happen in my life that would eventually  be what brings me to Him.  In the four years of high school I experienced two separate incidences where a man tried to lure me away and inappropriate public exposure, sexual abuse, overwhelming anxiety,fear and rejection by people I trusted and cared for, and the loss of my grandma.  One Sunday I had hurriedly gone up to the alter to give my life to Christ not fully knowing what I had done and what it meant. I still had no guidance, I didn't read my bible much and still had alot of anxiety in my life as I worked through the things that had happened to me during high school. In 1983 I married my high school sweety and wanted to take my faith more serious. After watching a christian show on tv where a man shared how to accept Christ, I wanted that now even more..I felt God pulling on my heart. So later that night, I asked my husband if he wanted to accept Christ too. We both kneeled down and gave our lives to Christ on November 1, 1983. My life verse has been Jeremiah 29:11 ever since "For I know the plans I have for you declares the Lord, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plan to give you hope and a future."  You are probably wondering  how this can be " for good" ? The things I have gone through have made me a more compassionate person, a person who is more patient with someone who has had a rough life, I have more understanding and most importantly, I know how much God wants to bring healing, hope and love into every ones life that is experiencing hopelessness, fears, anxieties, loss, disappointment's, hurts and  rejection.
Lamentations 3:22-23 "Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for His compassion's never fail. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness."

May 2009-June 2009 Long days but the burden lightens when its placed in the correct hands....

Yes, I had questions...not all my questions would be answered. Proverbs 3:5 says "Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.." I knew I could not see the future, and that I may not want to see it anyhow.  Often when I was able to go home and rest while my husband or daughter would stay with Rhea at IU Cancer center, I would lay there awake, my eyes full of tears, crying out to God, asking Him why, what was the purpose, why so young...God would only reveal, that I must trust Him for what the future holds for Rhea...that God has a bigger and better plan for her life. I was scared...I didn't want to loose one of my precious daughters...I had to let go. I asked God to help me release her to Him..I told God I would trust Him...He was my helper..He was The Healer, He was and is my Hope.  I remember the day after Rhea was diagnosed, Rhea was in tears, she said with great faith, God has a plan for her, she didn't know what it was, but she knew He had a plan. I told her that God must have seen her as a willing vessel, one He could use for His glory.
Hard days ahead at home....